(Note: I began this a few days ago with the intention of discussing why I've not been blogging here and what the status of my relationship to this is. It really was supposed to be a short "Letter From the Editor". But it soon became a round-about explanation of other things. Each thing that I mention here has the potential for many pages more of explanation. I believe I feel the beginnings of my book. I will, however, get to the point. At some point. ~S.C.~ 3/10/15)
Immediately following the Winter Solstice of December 2014, a tremendous and palpable shift of consciousness was experienced by yours truly. At around that moment in time, there was a lot of talk within the ascensionista grapevine, about the possible ascension of a number of First Wavers, those on the planet who represent the first tier of Light Beings who are here assisting the Earth and humanity toward and into the Golden Age. (No small task.) I was informed by several people within a small circle of light workers that I was in fact to be one of those who would have been chosen to ultimately ascend, allegedly to a higher plane, or dimension, of existence.(?) O-kaaaay. Or, merge with my Higher Self. Again, okay. Apparently they thought they knew something more about me than I did about myself. So I waited. I thought. I anticipated the moment when that feeling would emerge when I was supposed to enter the 5th dimension and live the rest of my live in a sort of bi-location of worlds.
This did not happen. In fact, nothing of the kind happened.
What did take place, however, was a big and very personal awakening, the likes of which left me with an empirical understanding of what it really means to receive an upgrade in frequency. Waking up the morning following the December 21st Solstice, everything was different. By the power of Divine Grace, and my own desire, I had entered a brand new plateau of the New Earth. An enormous amount of the old paradigm that had been clinging to my psyche, and which was holding my subconscious and my karma hostage, disappeared. Try as I might to access previously common programs of thought, I could not. I lay in bed that morning in almost total wonderment at this newness that I was. I was surrounded by light, love and freedom - the old me had taken walk and was replaced by a sparkling new inner expression. I felt born again.
Up until this point, all changes had been small, painstaking and often barely decipherable. That did not make them any less real or useful, it's just that so much effort seems to have gone into the continual striving to overcome the debilitating density of the old world, the old self. The longing to find answers away from this suffering was all consuming. When 7 years ago a life fully lived came to a screeching halt, I knew I was heading into the abyss. For reasons entirely beyond my human comprehension, I found myself isolated and basically alone, without any semblance of social network or spiritual community. I knew I was entering a period of my life for which I was never, ever prepared.
The baggage of past lives and current behaviors were torn apart piece by piece, with no measurable logic to it. It seemed as though the universe was NOT conspiring in my favor, but rather against it. I lived a good and strongly religious and spiritual life. I served my Guru, my mentors, my community. I did the requisite pilgrimages, the prescribed yogic diet; I fasted on all the important dates of the Hindu calendar and performed daily ablutions to garner the grace of the gods. And so why, despite this, was I finding myself engulfed by an endless ennui? Perhaps because of this I was called to make the final alterations to this human existence by unraveling everything and anything that I so strongly believed in that I would have given my life for it.
Everything I held near and dear to me was challenged. At the same time, everything that I depended on for support, be it material, emotional or spiritual, had disintegrated. All the tools I knew to use not only did not work, they often had the opposite effect. With few exceptions, everywhere I turned, I hit a wall. The message was loud and it was clear and it was coming from the part of me that never lies: Depend. Upon. Yourself. (And by "yourself" I mean God.) This had always been my path. And now it was painfully clear that there were no short cuts. The universe was providing me with a direct link to God by weeding out any and all false notions that we have for countless lifetimes mistaken as Truth.
In the middle of all this, I began this blog. I honestly don't even remember why or what my motivation was, otherwise I would mention it here. It had something to do with Feng Shui, obviously, but it very shortly morphed into a "new age" blog. It gave me reason to explore all the facets of this modern movement by which I was fascinated, but which I did not completely trust; and it gave me a way to pass the time on a pseudo ambitious endeavor.
To be continued....(I hope)
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