my friend Charmaine Smith.
I find myself lately in an odd energetic state as regards my fellow human beings. In selective bursts, I encounter those with whom I am in easy resonance and feel effortless joy and lightness and visit happily, as if we have always been old friends.
When not around such people, or at other times--particularly at night or when I am going to exercise or sleep--I have a fierce, indomitable urge to be as far from other people as possible and to be left completely alone, no matter what. If anyone unwanted or with an incompatible personality or behavior comes anywhere near me or intrudes in any way, I bristle like a porcupine and have to fight all my fiercest, most aggressive territorial urges. A hundred yards away is too close for someone like that, or their vehicle. At these times, I yearn to rack a shotgun and let physics take its course.
From a bird's-eye view this is amusing, as I wrestle with the body's conditioning and swim through the intense energetic surround. At times, the world is too much with me...and I long for the utter solitude of nature, devoid of combustion engines and bad manners. The insects chirping in the desert scrub were a comfort last night, as was the moon above the lake and its night breeze. Even the two human-like shadow figures that virtually flew across the parking lot near my van last night as I peeped through my curtains were no bother; they were silent in their passing and showed no interest in my presence.
If I were on some other world right now, I would miss the familiar sounds of Gaia in the moonlight, her chirping creatures, her bone-deep rumble as she spins, the pitched humming of her field. I would not miss the smell of rotting vegetables, the necessity of eating, the too-near sounds of nicotine coughs and alcohol-soaked conversation.
This too shall pass, I imagine, and all that is allowed to process and flow on will leave a smoother surface behind through which the All can pour. Sigh.....