A Lesson of Surrender
by Sharda Chaitanya
The more things change, the more they stay the same...? I am beginning to see the wisdom of this phrase.
I have been on a quest to move things into another trajectory which involves (involved) pretty much every aspect of my life from my calling/vocation, to a j.o.b. to my living situation, and even my community...
Some things I tried have worked, some things were 100% green-lighted and then got tossed, and other things fizzled out soon after take-off. It all seemed so promising, and well...new. Changes I had hoped for, that seemed to be coming my way, saw their demise before taking root.
I have to ask myself: "What is going on?"
Have the vibrations of the 5th dimension infiltrated so deeply into me that navigating the 3rd dimension is no longer an option? Do I have to wait for others to catch up with me before I can see tangible change? The one or two changes which did stick are an almost perfect match to me vibrationally; at the same time they fell into my lap with literally no effort on my part. Which is further confirmation that what we need WILL come to us, and if it doesn't (or doesn't stay) it truly wasn't meant for us. Our human tendency is to mourn a loss that we thought was so dear to us when in fact it would not have supported us on the path. That's a hard pill to swallow. It all comes back to trust.
I trust my higher self implicitly - but sometimes I do forget. What I was experiencing took root deep within my head, i.e., ego-self. That was the first red flag. So where do I put my mind when things do not go as planned? So first, I cried a lot - bucket loads. I was pissed off and frustrated. I was confused and exhausted from making effort that bore no fruit. How am I going to navigate life on the planet if I can't get the basics of what is required to be here? Stop. Breath. Reflect. Son-of-a-b.... Stop. Breath. Reflect. What? What now? Give up, dismiss everything I have worked toward up to this point as futile gibberish? What is the meaning of events NOT transpiring?
We are spiritual warriors, soldiers of the revolution of change, gatekeepers to the portals of light. We don't give up. We never acquiesce or back away from a challenge. If I am truly an instrument of change, then I needed to look more closely at this 'instrument'. If I am truly on the path, then I needed to look at what is the singular most important part of my path. The answer: consciousness. Not material gain, or feel-good psuedo spiritual moments, not learning another factoid or waiting for ET's or adopting a new technique from the latest channel or the hottest visionary. While these are accepted as cool and desirable aspects within the vernacular of those that are awakening, they are in fact obstacles to Cosmic Truth.
In my opinion, what is of foremost importance is consciousness. And if my consciousness is to be raised, then the machinations of 3D can no longer apply. If that which I expected I needed has stopped before it got started, then it wasn't going to get me to the next level. We are constantly clearing the path, even of things that might seem ordinary or even useful. Except we don't know why until the next chapter unfolds. If I ask for my consciousness to become enlightened, I can't renege on my request - it's out there for all eternity and Creator got the memo via priority delivery. Once I started putting that out there, I knew there was no turning back.
When I calmed down and and slept more and sat in the sun on these recent warm days, I made room for my intuition to speak to me. It was very simple: surrender. Surrender to the movement of light, to your heart ache, to everything you feel at these moments of intense transitions and horrible darkness. Surrender to Source with a softened heart and quieter mind with the knowledge that Mother/Father God knows best and I can, with full permission, set aside any struggle. The thing is, I have been learning this same lesson from the very beginning of my spiritual path. I imagine it bears repeating until it is perfected.
On the other hand, one or two wonderful and very unexpected occurrences took place within the spiritual/mystical framework of my life that are pure joy and will be with me forever. I have no need to go into specifics because I would lose part of myself were I to reveal those intimate details. It is becoming clearer to me what I am truly meant to do in this world. If I am right, which I think I am, then I accept with full surrender all lessons and experiences that broaden the path that I must walk.