The Goddess Particle
Scientists say they may have found the God Particle.
The European Organization for Nuclear Research or CERN said the discovery was a milestone in the understanding of nature.
Physicists stressed the results presented at a joint conference in Melbourne and Geneva were preliminary.
They were unsure if the particle was the long sought-after Higgs boson, or God particle, or something more “exotic”.
This lot has an amazing habit of
announcing stuff just when Mercury is about to go Retrograde. Seriously,
every time. We’ve been here before.
One of my resolutions is to give the Large Hadron Particle Collider a
category of its own. You know, that Psuedo-Intellectual Astro-Bitches
like nothing better than to drink Blue Devil Hoochie Juice and discuss
Quantum Physics whilst lying that they’re going to be up at 5am for
Paleo-CrossFit hell.
Questions We Could Look At:
* This is the most expensive scientific
experiment in history, Europe is broke, we’re looking for the God
Particle. It might sound a bit dodgy if you read it in a history book.
Right?
* What this time around? Time
Travellers from the Future again? Another baguette dropped by a passing
bird into their chief Particle Smasher Tubule? I think given the cost of
this thing, they HAVE to say they are close to finding the God
Particle. I’d be wanting to look busy too. Obviously it would be a
massive concern/darkly funny if someone finds a picture of the Large
Hadron Particle Collider in a newly unearthed Ancient Mayan Massage
Parlour or something.
* WHAT could the “something more exotic” be? A Goddess Particle? Unicorns? Gary?
* Has this re-kindled your interest in the so-called Dark Matter that makes up most of the Universe? It has mine. Occult much?
* Okay,
IF they do find the God Particle, clearly the Pope will have to push off
and give the God Particle his palace, don’t you think? Unless the God
Particle is more Vegan and Pagan and would prefer a giant wigwam by a
fantastic beach on decent Ley Lines of course.
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I did appreciate a few remarks in comments: (Oh, the things I do to keep myself amused.)
I just can’t understand what this is going to change exactly . . ."
2. "I only learned about the original name last night. I think the Goddamn particle is a MUCH better name but apparently some puritanical peeps didn’t think it was appropriate for the book title so it was changed. Maybe they thought “The God Particle” would sell better too."
3. "Gary!"