Some Thoughts on the Message From The Group,
My Meltdown and Recovery,
and What Divine Shakti Did
To For Me
|Mataji, Amritananda Mayi. Embracing the World|
I know for myself I always feel as though I have to "catch up", and that I will settle into a routine once I finally get my bearings. The truth is, we are never going to "get our bearings" in quite the same way as happens in 3D. I have been trying to find balance for the past five years. But now I realize it is about staying in the flow. The influx of energy and the beaming of assistance from our company of guides is creating changes that make us want to sit out each new upgrade in consciousness. But what we are advised is to move with the upgrade in order to further activate it. For each one of us that is different, although in this message The Group encourages us to share ourselves in light and with love to those around us. Keep grounding and that will anchor us as we assimilate the refinement of frequencies that are charging our physical and spiritual existence.
Sorry for the lengthy commentary, but I think it's really important to have a common denominator for us to refer to. I would say 95% of this message resonates with me - I read it as though drinking a refreshing glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. For the past two weeks exactly I have been moving through another tier of energy/consciousness/re-alignment restructuring, and it has been quite something. I was really enjoying myself back there as I flowing and functioned in 3D as though (wink, wink) oblivious to...ascension? What ascension? I'm fine. I'm good. I got this. I was cruising and figured all the bumps in the road were behind me. I was socializing a little more. I was able to go into the stores (and even tried on and bought clothes). I went to the Farmers Market with no signs of stress or anxiety. It even looked like there might be a personal relationship taking shape, as thought I could actually see myself sharing my life. (Whoa. Okay, slow down, let's not get ahead of ourselves.)
So, getting back to the idea of flow...Two week ago I had a reading with the Council of Love. It was actually with Divine Mother through Linda Dillon, but somehow I know it was also the COL -- it's an overarching sense of being enveloped by this extremely broad energy. At first it was a typical, if there is such a thing, reading with Divine Mother followed by speaking with my guide.
After that I became what can only be described as depressed, in an ascension kind of way; a kind of melancholy combined with feeling a deep void in my life. And a little confused about what I was "supposed" to be thinking after the reading; why wasn't I feeling elated about or guided on my path? And was that even accurate? And where did my smooth-running perspective go? But these uncomfortable vrittis, or movements in the mind, are/were all the trappings of the ego-self, the part of me that wants reward and instant gratification. The reading was good, certainly, but did not address my expectations. Huh. Now what? Now, wait and watch.
The level of uncomfortableness that I was having, mentally and emotionally (although not the kind of emotions as 3D; much more subtle, I suppose, and more abstract) put me into a quietude that I was not unfamiliar with. I just figured the sooner I forgot about it, the sooner I could get back to my comfort zone. But now I am seeing that each time this happens to me, it is carrying a different message. (Which goes back to much of what Steve Roper and The Group write about.) I wanted to blame Mother for this - it was Her fault. And why didn't I get more of what I wanted? Why did I even ask to talk to Her? Why did I have to believe? My heart knew that She would not lead me astray, so what was this then? What was the justification for this meltdown?
I realize that during our conversation, she could have been saying,, blah-de blah, bloop bloop deepy daapy doh. I exaggerate, of course, and mean no disrespect, but I illustrate my point, and that is, the energy would still have been the same. What I received was an energy that resulted in a very subtle underpinning of my spiritual growth. It is almost impossible to put into words and usually can only be recognized once we have assimilated, blended, as it were, the new frequency into our mindset.
Just as we were finishing up our conversation, and Linda came "back in". I said that I wanted to blog about this but it might take a few days to get to where I could grasp the depth of what took place. She chuckled in her usual fashion and said, "Oh yeah, at least". I know that these things have layers but I did not understand the impact this time. (Again, not news.) As I hung up the phone, in my arrogance I thought, Meh, no biggie, I'll have it figured out in a couple of days. If you've ever had someone work on you with shamanic healing/journeying, or shakti-pat or a chat with any of the company of heaven, then you know the absurdity of thinking we have it in the bag. Fail.
But this year I went with a purpose. The venue was different and much, much larger. I decided I was going to get a hug (instead of mulling about the food court eating) and I was going to get the most from it. And I did. Because the mornings are a bit less busy, she takes more time and I even asked a question and received an answer! That's a big deal, and very cool. Finished my hug, waited around for a friend, and left at 3:30 p.m. I returned the next night for what is called Devi Bhava, or the invocation of Divine Mother into the physical vessel of Ammachi. I got there at 5:00 in the afternoon and received my hug at about 1:30 the next morning. Can you imagine a room, in this case an airplane hangar, that could fit three jumbo jets comfortably, filled with people all meditating at the same time? Just amazing. The mission has grown beyond what one could imagine. I met Ammachi back in 1983 in Berkeley, California. It was a room half the size of a high school gymnasium and about 150 people were there. (At that time I was living in Oakland with my Guru in The Temple of Cosmic Religion.) I got my hug and that was that.
I am still reeling from what transpired and each day a little bit more of me is coming on line. The perceptions that have been fine-tuned due to Mother's compassion are generated from within my being. It is always about what is inside, and with Mother next to us, it becomes so much easier to find what that is. The fire of Mother's Shakti is all I really need. It is Her Veil, the illusion of Maya Shakti, that we are trying to remove. But so long as we cling to Her the Veil cannot distract us.